My Double Mastectomy

 I did laser treatment on my lumpectomy. It looks so much better. Can still see it but it’s doesn’t look like a scar scar if that makes sense. I went to my dermatologist and did the excel laser treatment. I only had 2 sessions and they gave me skinuva scar gel to use at home. Then they said to wait a few months if I want to come back. Im pretty happy with the results

 Found out that the appointment I have next week is not my surgery date, it’s a consultation. I already had a consultation. Which makes sense to have another one but the front desk wasn’t clear about it. They told me I had to wait at least 3 months until my next surgery, it’ll be  4 months next week. At first I cried out of frustration, now I’m frustrated and angry. This whole situation puts you in a roller coaster and sometimes I get mood swings. It’s the anticipation that gets you. It’s just annoying because I’ll go in, she’ll submit that I’m ready for surgery then I have to wait for the scheduler to contact me. And last time it took months. It’s personally frustrating for me since my life and job revolves around making appointments/scheduling. I’m a hair stylist, I have to go to work or else I don’t get paid. I don’t get paid time off, and I still have to pay rent and my bills while I’m out. I had to reschedule all my clients for 6 weeks. It’s just really stupid annoying. B...

 Right now I don’t feel stress. But I think I am, just in denial? At least it’s definitely not the same amount of stress and anxiety as the first time. My cat only sits/sleeps next to me when I’m super stressed out and he’s been doing that. And he’s definitely not a cuddly cat at all. Also my hair has been shedding a whole lot more than normal. I feel fine though, but all the signs are there. Funny how things works

They finally called me 2 days ago and my appointment is on Aug 5, the day after my birthday. What a great birthday present! Haha. I’m excited and nervous. Apparently I’m really sensitive to medication so I stopped breathing during my surgery and my heart almost stop like 4 times when I was in the recovery room. So I’m definitely not looking forward to that! So hopefuuuullly it’s better this time around 🙃🙃🙃

 I’m definitely used to the tissue expanders by now, but still very ready to get them out. They don’t bother me as much, it’s just annoying if I rest my arm on top or touch it in any way and I still somewhat avoid hugging people because they are so hard. Tired of these rocks. I’ve tried sleeping without my body pillow but I still need it. It’s just so much more comfortable sleeping with one 🥹. They say I have to wait at least 3 months until my next surgery. I still don’t have an appointment scheduled for my next surgery. I had to harass/call them all the last time until they gave me a date and they basically said I’d have to the same thing this time around too. I’ll probably start next week. My surgeon is on maternity leave and doesn’t come back until Aug 1st. I want to get in before the holidays since I’ll be out for another 6 weeks, they said it should be easier next time so we’ll see.  I’m mentally better since I’m drowning myself in work right now. Trying to keep myself b...