Week 4 Post Double Mastectomy

 Yesterday April 6, 2022 was my last day of expansion. She added an extra 30cc of saline so in total I have 200cc of saline inside my tissue expanders. I’m actually really happy with 170cc but they have to go a little bit bigger so there’s space to work with during my next surgery. Which is probably around August/September. The extra 30cc is a little too much for me. I’m already so skinny that I don’t need this to draw more attention to me. Like eyes up here peeps! But it’s part of the process so I’ll just stick with wearing baggy tops for a short while. I’m curious to see what they’ll look like when I switch them out to implants. I wonder how much of the rippling will show. I don’t have enough body fat to do fat grafting to help mask the rippling effects. Even if I do try to gain weight and do fat grafting, it probably won’t stick so there’s no point of even thinking about doing unnecessary surgery. But for sure now that they are bigger, I really don’t like my expanders. It’s so so so uncomfortable. It feels like Im carrying around rocks on my chest. Not only that but it feels like Im constantly wearing a bra, and I can’t take it off! It’s even more stupid annoying if I wear a bra on top. Even bralettes are not the one.

Other than that, pain is manageable. My nipples were super super sensitive. But as time passes, as I heal more, I realized it’s the skin of my nipple that was sensitive. I’m not sure what I just said was right or even makes sense lol. It just doesn’t feel as raw. So I’m noticing I’m losing sensation on my nipples too. All I feel now is pressure. The only sensation I have left is the top part of my breasts, like 1/2 - 1 inch. Hopefully I’ll get sensation back, if not well, it’s a give and take. I’m not so down about it. On the upside I’m finally able to somewhat hug my husband! Still not fully there but I’m not in pain, just uncomfortable. Eventually it’ll get better and it’s something I’ll get used to. 

When my breast surgeon got the pathology tests, he told me that everything was benign (non cancerous) but they found more of the abnormal cells than expected in both of my breast. But just recently they sent over the little side notes. Not only did they find a lot of the abnormal cells in both of my breasts, I had two itty bitty fibroids (benign tumors) in the left breast growing. We didn’t really check the left side since it was mostly the right side that was more of the concern. So knowing this and how my mom was diagnosed at 45, I reeeeeeaaaaaallllyyyy don’t regret my decision. And I consider myself very lucky to have this opportunity.

Since 4 weeks is up, I’m finally allowed to lift things over 5 pounds. In the beginning of this, it was depressing since I really couldn’t move, can’t even laugh cause that would hurt. But now that Im more mobile it’s been so much better for my mental health. All is left is to build up my stamina and strength. Im happy they put the expanders over the muscles instead of under. If they went under the muscle, recovery time would be harder since they would have to cut the muscle. And twice since I need to get them replaced! Connecting and reading other peoples stories that did it under the muscle, it causes back pain in the long run and with other side effects. So right now I’m doing very light body weight workouts. Nothing that gauges the chest muscle/area or running until after 6 weeks. I don’t get winded as much now but I really did lose a lot of my stamina and find myself huffing and puffing.

In the beginning, I thought about posting picture updates of my breasts. But now that they look more “normal,” I don’t want my body out there like that. I did document my breasts for myself. I think it’s good to take a before video/picture and all the afters. It’s nice to go back to see all the transitions you go through. But I do want people to visually see what the tissue expanders look like initially. It helps give it a more understanding. You can talk about it all you like, but if you can’t see it, it’s hard to imagine. So I’ll do updates when I get them replace. And for this blog, I’ll start doing monthly updates instead of weekly. And then sprinkle some more here and there if I feel like it.