The Hardest Part for Me

 I definitely lucked out on the physical part. I think since I originally started off small and only wanted to go a little bit bigger, I didn’t need any revisions. I didn’t need to rearrange my nipples, get a lift, shift anything, no grafting, etc. I also choose extra firm implants (less rippling) and had them over there muscles so overall it was less invasive. I only did one surgery after my mastectomy while it’s common for women to have 3-6. And since my job is physical, that was my “physical therapy” so I didn’t have issues with arm mobility. 

Mentally was really a struggle. Making this decision was extremely difficult with the agony of all the extensive research put into it. Being young with no children didn’t help either. People kept questioning my decision and at the same time I’d be dismissed because of my age. I tired getting therapy but my doctor told me no and should look for support groups instead. Turns out I’m not allowed to join any of them because I don’t have cancer. So I had no help and felt very alone. On top of this, I didn’t get the support that I needed the most from the people I wanted it from. I was very heart broken. I also took a total of almost 3 months off without pay since I work for myself. So yes, my stress, anxiety and depression was breaking records during these times.

A good amount of time has now pass. I’ve changed a lot as a person. I cut off things and people that didn’t serve me good anymore. I’m getting to learn the new me and discover new things that interests me now. It’s really satisfying to regain my peace.