My Double Mastectomy

 It’s been one full year (plus a couple days) of my double mastectomy with reconstruction! And only 8 months since my last surgery back in August. It’s been a crazy up and down ride, but definitely more ups right now. My scar tissues are more manageable. They don’t hurt as much/got used to them. The mastectomy scars don’t bother me at all since they’re underneath and you can’t really see them. But I did get tattoos on each side to cover up my jp drain scars because those bothered me the most. I have most my range of motion. It’s only the left side that’s really stiff and somewhat hurts if I stretch it out too far. Strength wise I’m still working on. I noticed if I pull my shirt up with my arms in a crossed position, I can’t do it. So need to work on that. For the most part I don’t think about them, probably because I lost all my nerves in chest. But when I do think about them, I feel uncomfortable and want to rip them out from my chest. I guess I’m too vain right now to go flat. I ...

 If you developed hypersensitivity on your incisions like me, don’t fucking do it! 🥲😂 I did it on my lumpectomy and it was fine, but I developed hypersensitivity on my mastectomy scars after my 2nd surgery. They zapped me twice and I had to scream to make them stop and burst into tears. Never felt quick and intense pain like that. I felt bad cause I think I scared my technician. They said numbing cream wouldn’t work because they can’t do anything to help with scar tissue. It was definitely not fun and would not recommend 

 It’s been 1 month of physical therapy. Didn’t think I needed it but I’m so happy I did it. I was complaining that my incisions would get irritated and it’d really really hurt so they recommended physical therapy. When I went in, they explained to me that all my nerves are bunched up in my incisions and they needed to be stretched out. Also, since they pulled everything forward during the surgery, my chest gets tight and my shoulders started to slowly roll forward. And I noticed my posture started to get bad and my body was aching. They showed me some stretching exercises that I have to do everyday and it’s definitely working. I now have almost full range of motion and my incisions are less irritated. I think if I didn’t do hair, I would have had less range so I’m thankful for my job lol. It’s really interesting how stretching can do such wonders and why it’s not really talked about. I have a couple of clients who went through the same surgery and have the same complaints. Like eve...

 I definitely lucked out on the physical part. I think since I originally started off small and only wanted to go a little bit bigger, I didn’t need any revisions. I didn’t need to rearrange my nipples, get a lift, shift anything, no grafting, etc. I also choose extra firm implants (less rippling) and had them over there muscles so overall it was less invasive. I only did one surgery after my mastectomy while it’s common for women to have 3-6. And since my job is physical, that was my “physical therapy” so I didn’t have issues with arm mobility.  Mentally was really a struggle. Making this decision was extremely difficult with the agony of all the extensive research put into it. Being young with no children didn’t help either. People kept questioning my decision and at the same time I’d be dismissed because of my age. I tired getting therapy but my doctor told me no and should look for support groups instead. Turns out I’m not allowed to join any of them because I don’t have c...

 A lot has happened that I almost forgot to update. So far I’m okay, nothing major has happened yet. It’s just my incision didn’t heal well like it did the first time. The second round was less invasive and since there’s nothing there, I didn’t really feel pain. Which was great at first until I was over working my body before I realized it. I slowed down my healing process. And because they cut me in the same area, I developed hypertrophic and hypersensitivity. It hurts and get really really itchy/irritated when something touches it. Like if I’m wearing a bra, since it’s pressing on it, it’ll get to the point where I’d want to rip my skin off. So I have to do steroid shots and “physical therapy”. Physical therapy for the hyper sensitivity where they’ll test out different fabrics and different pressures on me to get use to it? Didn’t know that was called physical therapy so that’s new to me. Doesn’t start till December and my steroid shots don’t start till in a few weeks so we’ll se...

 After getting my tissue expanders switched out to implants, it’s been a lot easier. Easier because I can’t feel anything anymore. I may or may not get feeling back on my chest. It took 5 years for my mom when she got her mastectomy, difference is that she didn’t get reconstruction so we have different experiences. It’s been one week coming back to the salon and I realized I do have feeling in one tiny spot on the very side. And that tiny spot actually really hurts when I over do it. My incision is healing well but not as well as the first time. I developed keloid some spots. Hopefully it’ll smooth out over time with some scarring cream. Other than that, physically there’s nothing unmanageable. Mentally is definitely a lot better than the first time. I’m handling ignorant/insensitive comments better. I know this is a never ending battle that I’ll have to learn to cope with. But sometimes the things people say really surprises me. Yesterday someone asked me why they’re so small....